What the?
by Halfbreed741
Summary: Some semi random things that occur on a hot day in Konoha...Especially about Sai, and the oh so fav question...Oneshot


**What The?**

**AN: I do not own Naruto. (Sadly)**

It was one damn hot day in Kohana. The sun was literally slapping everything in the face, and some on the ass. Even the cute little humming birds had to take the time to rest and fan themselves crazy. The citizens in the village was finding it hard to do everyday tasks. Even the shinobi of Kohana, decided to take a break from training, to stay inside and cool off. Except one ninja in particular. If you didn't guess who, it's NARUTO! Guess what he's doing. Eating spicy ramen at the ramen shack. It's here that our hero's story take part.

"Mmm..mmm…good." Naruto stated after taking another helping of ramen. "It's better than that Cambell's crap!"

"Well since you're only customer right now, and probably the rest of the day, here's another bowl on the house!" The shack owner said while handing the teary eyed ninja another bowl of the scrumptious, lip moistening, stomach gurgling,….ummm yeah.

"Old man, if you were an apple I would take a picture of you!" Naruto exclaimed while jugging down the extra helping of noodles. The guy just sweat dropped.

"Uhhh, I'll just take that as a complement to be on the safe side."

"Whatever you say!" Naruto continued eating the ramen at a fast pace until he heard someone call his name from afar. _Could it be a bird? A plane? A paperclip?_ Naruto wondered.

"Naruto! What the heck are you doing eating ramen in this weather?" Kiba asked taking a leap and landing right nest to Naruto at the stand, while still riding Akamaru.

"Oh, hey! Just felt like eating some noodles." Then suddenly a cluster of paper came forth giving Kiba a really small paper cut, and Naruto fell out of his chair from being blinded by the clusters of paper, then Sai appeared out of nowhere.

"Hello, dickless wonder, and mutface." Sai casually stated as some unknown wind blew in the air, which made his hair all creepy waving, also giving it that very awkward glitter affect.

"You damn fruit! Look what you did!" Kiba yelled showing Sai his small cut on the right index finger. "Do you know how annoying these things are! They don't hurt, but they itch and that's very bothersome."

"Well, I am sorry, but I can't forgive you for calling me a fruit, that's just….preposterous! Why I never!" Sai said while placing his left hand on his chest.

"Why you bast-" Narto began.

"Gaylord!" Kiba yelled cutting off Naruto. Akakmaru agreeing with him.

"Yeah yo-" Naruto began again.

"I'm not gay! Why does everyone say I am!" Sai said shaking a half eaten tomato at Kiba.

"Of coarse you-" Naruto protested.

"Duh you're gay! Just look at you! Don't deny who you are!" Kiba yelled, cutting Naruto off again.

"What's wrong with the way I look! At least I don't like to ride my dog all day….If you know what I mean!" Sai yelled back.

"…ok, now tha-" Naruto muttered.

"That's just sick! And about your clothes! Who the hell in this straight world wears black leotards and a _tight _tank top that only covers half the chest!" Kiba argued, once again cutting our hero off.

The two continued their bickering while Naruto was jus getting pissed off. After two hours, he couldn't take it anymore. Grabbing a huge inflatable mushroom out of nowhere, he whacked the both of them in the gastrocnemius.(Part of the calf…)

"Would you guy listen to me for once! Should I make you eat Mcdonalds or do I have to make you guys kiss and make up?" Naruto exclaimed putting away the huge fungi.

"What!" Kiba yelled. Even Akamaru felt uneasy.

"I wouldn't mind doing the second one." Sai said shrugging, putting up one arm, palm facing the sky, and the other on his waist.

An eerie wind blew by along with an awkward silence……….Naruto, Kiba, and Akamaru took a few steps away from him.

"Ummmm, what's wrong? I'm only agreeing to your statement Naruto-kun." Sai said with puppy dog eyes. This only creeped them out more.

"That's it, you're gay and I'm getting out of here!" Kiba stated. Naruto agreed and they both left, leaving a heartbroken Sai. The gender confused person started to cry, and for some strange reason had mascara on, which then slowly descended upon his rosy (yes rosy) cheeks. At the same time Lee had a sudden urge to lick a pineapple, but sadly he just ran out of them!

"Out off all days to run out of fruit! On the days of springtime and youth, the luscious pieces of heaven can not be found. I suppose I can throw a brick at a cow or something…..Wait! I'll see if Gai-sensei wants to share any fashion….I mean training tips!" Lee said with determination. Raising his fis and calling out Gai's name, with streams of tears falling from his eyes.

While playing jump rope with Kakashi, Gai had a weird feeling someone is calling out to him. "For some strange reason, I feel that my cute student is in need of me!" Gai exclaimed. Suddenly a strange ocean background came in view behind him. This completely freaked the hell out of Kakashi. After about two minutes of Gai's ranting of youth, Kakashi decided to continue reading his book and left in a cloud of smoke.

"And that's why I believe that putting peanut butter up the….." Gai looked around finding himself talking to no one. "Curse you kakashi! I curse you to grow long locks of hair with split ends from you butt!" Gai yelled, falling onto his knees and shaking his fists in the air.

Pedestrians passing by only ran away and sweat dropped from the emotionally conflicted jounin.

**AN**: Yup, you guessed it! I was probably high and drunk when typing this! Hic...Hic...Duuudddeee!


End file.
